How I Spent My Summer Vacation

I miss the days of 2 or 3 months off from responsibility in the summer. Days that were spent waking up at the crack of noon, eating pizza pops for lunch/breakfast and then sitting by the pool of the apartment complex of my youth for the rest of the day.

Now, I’m on “summer holidays” this week: a whole week away from the office. My job is pretty lax in the summertime, so I didn’t really need a vacation to get away from the work and stress, more like just a break from certain people and personalities. I couldn’t afford to go anywhere for my holidays this year, so I decided to go the next best thing:

Spend 9 days designing and sewing things for 8-12 hours a day.

Anyone I talk to, when I tell them what I’m doing with my holidays, tend to recoil and say “oh! Well, I hope you get to relax a bit during your time off too!”

But the thing is, while I’m working, yes, I’m having a good time. I can stay in my jammies all day if I want, turn on my Netflix queue or iTunes playlists, keep my coffee cup perpetually filled  and just sew and draw and take pictures. This is my relaxation. It was a beautiful day outside today, so I did go down to the park for lunch and to sit in the sun for a while, but after an hour or so, I just felt like I need to do something. I don’t think I’ll ever be one of those people who goes to Mexico to sit on the beach for 10 days. I need to be doing something. Even just sitting and watching TV or a movie is boring to me. If I’m watching TV, I need to knit or sew or fold laundry or something. (Fold laundry, sure… Because I totally don’t just wear pull clean clothes out of the hamper and put the dirty ones on the floor until the hamper is empty and it’s time to do laundry again.)

The second True Knit art show is on July 9th, so I’m busy making goodies for that. I’ve felt like I haven’t been overly productive this week, but I think that’s because I’ve mostly been making wallets, which have a million little pieces. I have to install zippers and closures and sew in fiddly little bits. And, if this week has taught me anything, swear and break needles. A lot. So it’s taking longer to get an end product with these wallets.

However, I believe the outcome is totally worth it. I mean, look at this!

Normally, if you say “I’m making something that’s mostly turquoise, what colour do I accent with?”, I’d say “red” without even thinking about it. But this particular fabric just pops when I throw some yellow in there. I literally can’t stop looking at this one. I put my mom to work the other day and had her cut out a bunch of things, including this wallet. She asked about lining and I said “ooh, yellow for that one, trust me!”. Once everything was cut out, I pointed it out, “seeee? See how awesome?” And again, once the wallet was all made up, I went over to the table my mom was working at and said “see? Lookit! Doesn’t it look awesome? Isn’t it great? I love this!” (I also love being a totally humble artist)

Above are a few of the wallets I’ve completed this week. I need to take a break from them and move onto to purses that have 4 pieces and can be completed in an hour or so. A bunch of card cases/mini pouches should help with my general feeling of productiveness: they’re 3×5, three pieces and literally take 10 minutes to make. Anyone I know who makes little cases like these would probably agree that the cases are their bread and butter. They’re usually fairly inexpensive, so it becomes something that almost anyone can buy if they want to have something you’ve made. (Oh! Did I just actually apply a theory I learned in fashion design school? The idea that the major design houses make gloves and scarves and ties so that people who can’t afford a Chanel suit can still have a piece of Chanel? I think I just did!)

I’ve come up with a couple new designs that I’m super excited to show off too. I’m mostly keeping them under wraps, but here’s a sneakiest of sneak peaks.

Ooh, excited! I keep just going into the closet and looking at the larger work in that photo.

It’s always a gamble, making things for a sale. I’ve been at a sale where a lot of people ask about a particular motif. One time it was chili peppers. Everyone was asking whether I had anything with chili peppers, which, at the time, I did not. But for the next sale, I had a couple chili pepper-print bags. That was 4 years ago, and the bags just sold this year. There’s been tons of things that I love and get really excited about that no one appears to be in to. It’s hard to say, but I’m really hoping that people are going to love the things I’ve come up with.

Another valuable lesson I’ve learned: use the right needle for the project. I mean, I knew this, but I had to break 9 size-12 needles trying to sew through 6 layers of cotton, 2 layers of interfacing and zipper or hook & loop tape before thinking “hmm… Maybe I should use a size 14?” I put in a 14 yesterday, and still have the same one in there, 3 wallets later. Apparently sometimes you actually have to do more than just scream obscenities at your sewing machine to affect any kind of change. Smart!

So I didn’t go to a big city, visit any museums or galleries or stay out all night, and my skin may be a littler pastier than most peoples’ would be after 6 days off work, but this was still a pretty good week. And I’ve still got three days to go. I played a city-wide water-fight (which is still ongoing, but due to my general lack of stealth, I’m already “out”) and on Saturday, I’ll be performing in a belly dance show too, which I’m really looking forward to.  All in all, this has been a pretty good mini summer holiday. **

 

 

** This doesn’t mean I won’t groan and hit the snooze button 5 times on Monday morning. Still totally will. I’m only human.

On Life in a Military Industrial Complex

Blogging, like many aspects of my life, is a matter of feast or famine. And I’m not just talking about the difference between grocery shopping on pay day and grocery shopping before pay day. I’ve had a couple ideas rolling around in my head for the blog this week. Then today, I saw a video that a friend posted on her Facebook page that angered me so much, I was distracted and unproductive all morning at work because of it.

The video in question, is this doozy, from Sun News. (Due to general WTFuckery, I can’t embed the video, so I give you the link).

http://www.sunnewsnetwork.ca/video/971454253001

It’s a 21 minute video in which dancer Margie Gillis gets completely lambasted by Sun News anchor Krista Erickson about funding for the arts. Now, I know what you’re going to say: It’s Sun News; the shittier, Canadian version of US Fox News. Why pay them any mind?

I would agree with that if the right-wing hyper-conservatives (and Conservatives) weren’t growing in numbers and popularity in this country.

The first couple minutes of the video, Ms Erickson speaks of Gillis’ career and work in glowing terms. After she greets her guest and keeps her mouth closed for 30 whole seconds while Ms Gillis says hello and thanks her host for having her on the show, all hell breaks loose. Without an ounce of tact, the first question out of Erickson’s mouth is about how much funding the Margie Gillis Dance Foundation receives from the government. For the majority of the next 20 minutes, Erickson talks over Gillis, all but yelling at her like a petulant child at one point, all while Ms Gillis is ever graceful, respectful and demure.

If you knew nothing of art, dance, Margie Gillis or how art grants worked, you’d think that this Margie Gillis was a scoundrel! Out to take the Canadian Government (oops! I meant the Harper Government) for all it’s worth.

The numbers Sun dug up found that the foundation received nearly 1.2 million dollars over the course of 13 years from the government. (A figure, incidentally, that Krista Erickson couldn’t even put in to words: “One million… two hun-… wh.. uh, it’s essentially 1.2 million dollars, okay?”)

$1,200,000 over the course of  13 years is peanuts. Nothing. It works out to about $96,000 a year. Erickson made it sound like Ms Gillis was living the high life, pocketing all the money the government “gave” her, instead of using every penny to grow her foundation and career and bring dance to the consciousness of as many people as possible.

The video itself made me angry. I was never one for Fox News, but I know how they operate. S/He with the loudest voice wins. Invite someone onto your show, and then berate and belittle them and their cause, and interrupt as often as possible. I don’t put up with this in my personal life, so I sure as hell don’t put up with this on TV or radio or streaming video online. It’s simply rude.

But then, the way Krista Erickson (left, above) seemed out to get Margie Gillis for accepting grants, that she is rightfully entitled to, for her work – the nerve! – was the part that really angered me.

We live in a country where it seems a national past time to laugh at all the “terrible” movies, TV shows and musical artists we produce (a sentiment I, for one, do not share). But when no funding is offered to a particular sector, how can we expect anything to get better? I know it takes more than money, but like nearly anything else in this world, you do need monetary support to make almost anything happen.

I’ve worked for a museum in the past that relied on government grants and donations from patrons. Even with the money they received, every year was harder than the last. There isn’t an artist/institution out there that I’ve encountered that has ever actually got enough funding to do what they really wanted.

In the past few years, the Canadian Government – oops, that’s the Harper Government – has made very drastic cuts to the arts, among other things. At the same time, millions of dollars have been provided to ramping up the military. This includes pointless purchases, like military aircraft (which Prime Minister Harper used to attend game 4 of the Stanley Cup playoffs.)

I believe the point that Sun News was trying to make (albeit not very eloquently) was that $1.2 million is a lot of tax payer money to spend on something that not everyone in the country can appreciate.

Now, I’ll admit, before this whole kerfuffle, I was not familiar with Margie Gillis or her work (the only professional Canadian dancer that came to mind before was Karen Kain). From the bit that I’ve seen on the internet, I don’t think it’s something I’d particularly enjoy. Do I think the Margie Gillis Dance Foundation’s funding should be cut, just because not all 34 million of us love the work it does? Absolutely not!

$1.2 million over the span of 13 years is nothing when you compare it to the $26 million dollars that the government has spent on bombing Libya since March. That’s just 4 months for those of you keeping score at home. Or how about 11 BILLION dollars spent on the Afghanistan mission over the last 10 years?

Why is no one screaming on television about this?

We live in a democracy (or so they keep telling me) – the government is supposed to represent all of us. You might not like interpretative dance – but a lot of people do. I don’t like watching team sports – but a lot of people do (a fact that I don’t  generally mind until it becomes ridiculous sports fanaticism). See, everyone is different, with different interests and personalities. All of which are acceptable. Or did you miss that lesson in kindergarten?

The more we devalue arts, education, health care, science and social services in favour of dropping bombs on poor, non-English, non-Christian countries, the more we’ll have no other option but to support the military. People are enlisting in the army just because they can’t afford to feed and house themselves and their families.

If we put more money into funding other sectors of society, it could only benefit us. I went to two different post secondary institutions and studied art and design. I’m still paying off my student loans. Am I making a living with art? No, I work for a faceless financial/retirement insurance corporation. I literally couldn’t be working further away from my desired field. Art (in all its forms) is so devalued – both monetarily and intellectually – that without a major windfall, I can honestly say that 100% of my income will never come from art. I’ll be lucky if one day just more than half of my income is from making art.

We need to understand that, yes, teachers should be striking for better wages when we’re trusting them to take care of our children and educate them every day for 12 years. We need to respect our health care professionals and the long hours they have to work because there simply aren’t enough of them to take care of all the sick, injured and ailing people. For all the money the Canadian Government – oops, that’s the Harper Government – puts into the military, we need more funding and support for our vets and their families when they come back home.

If we funded other sectors as much as the military is currently being funded, maybe we’d have sharper creative problem solving skills. Maybe our solutions to international problems wouldn’t be – quite literally – “kill it with fire”. Maybe then we wouldn’t have screeching, talking head, Ann-Coulter clones berating artists for using grants in their work.

Maybe then, saying you’re an artist wouldn’t really mean “I’m a waiter/secretary/unemployed”.

I would very much like to continue this discussion with anyone reading. Please, leave a comment here, email me, or leave a comment on the sites I’ll invariably post these to (Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr).

 

 

Post script: While I’m angry about this issue, The Globe & Mail featured a decidedly light-hearted piece on the same Sun News interview, likening Sun News to Comedy Central. I liked the tone of the article, as laughing at right-wingers is always great fun, but I can’t laugh at this anymore. The more we laugh and shrug it off, the more powerful conservative right-wingers get.

 

It’s not my strong suit

I’m a sucky blogger, okay? Let’s just admit that and get it out of the way.

I have been busy though! I’ve been making new things for the first True Knit Art Show in April, mending/altering/making bellydance costumes and rehearsing choreography with my dance group for a performance in May and trying to sew new things for my own wardrobe. All while working 50 hours a week at my office job. It’s technically supposed to only be 37.5 hours a week, but for a multi-million dollar financial company, our computer systems really really really suck. (one word: Microsoft) The amount of time we spend recovering from daily computer crashes is usually the amount of time spent in overtime.

But I digress.

eQuilter had some great fabric on their site last month, including a reprint of my all time favourite: Robert Kaufman’s homage to classic Universal monsters. I bought up all they had, along with some pink hearse fabric. There was only 2.5 yards of the monster fabric left, however I did find a seller online that places orders from Kaufman all the time and will sell me an entire bolt of the fabric. I’m seriously considering this, so I can make everything with this fabric (not even joking, I would wear the shit out of a monster dress).

I also got some totally awesome gingham and flowers fabric from Oh So Retro on Etsy. Nothing new will go on my Etsy page just yet. I want to save everything for True Knit. Afterwards, whatever’s left over will be put up for sale online.

My plan was to get a bunch of sewing  - or at least pattern cutting out – done tonight after work. But it’s nearly 11 now and I have to get up at 6 for work. I did manage to randomly just cut and dye my hair tonight – an excellent use of my time if I do say so myself! My life’s motto (you know, aside from Fuck you: I do what I want) is: my hair can never be too short, too blonde or have too many different lengths in it.

You can look forward to a book post soon too, as I’ve read some really great books in the last month. Namely, Lessons from the Fat-O-Sphere by Marianne Kirby & Kate Harding. Oh my. I can’t even tell you how great this book is. I bought an actual, physical copy of it (instead of a digital copy for my eReader), so I can lend it out to everyone and their dog. I’ll probably do a big fat, fatty celebration post and do a review of my recent (and first ever) purchase from Torrid too.

Alas! That must wait though. Two long work days await and I’m going to Edmonton on Sunday for a couple days. My Chemical Romance are playing on Tuesday and I’m not missing them this time. Not like that time, during the Black Parade tour, when they played Saskatoon and I was offered a free (FREE) ticket and wasn’t able to make it. I’m not bitter or anything. I am however, incredibly fan-girly excited for this trip. Not just for the show, but to go to a city with a Sephora, H&M and Lush in it. I’ve apologized in advance to my chequing account and my Visa.

In the meantime, I will leave you with a couple videos full of those stupid, dorky faces that I love so much, the infectious earnestness, positivity and honesty and general not-giving-a-fuck. I don’t love this band because they are a Serious Rock Band of Artists. No, they’re fucking dorks who play loud, obnoxious rock music and don’t apologize for a thing (see: 3 paragraphs ago, re: fuck you, I do what I want). Oh boys <3

On living in the Margins of North America

Well hi there. For those of you who don’t know, I’m Canadian.

I live in Canada

You know, the 2nd largest country (in size) in the world? Yeah, we’re kind of a big deal. Yet somehow, we’re really easy for people to gloss over and forget about.

I was on Tumblr the other day (shocking and rare, I know) and someone was organising a walk in solidarity for Planned Parenthood. As another city got added to list of cities hosting a walk, I’d see another reblogged post with an update.

Earlier this week, someone organised a walk for the Toronto chapter of PP (which, to my knowledge wouldn’t be affected by American tax dollars, but it’s always nice to show support for an organisation like that). Someone then reblogged that list with something like “CANADIANS! TELL YOUR FRIENDS! THERE’S A WALK IN TORONTO”.

There’s a walk in Toronto.

THERE’S A WALK  IN TORONTO.

THERE’S A WALK  IN TORONTO.

 

I, personally, do not know anyone in Toronto. Many people in Saskatchewan (or Alberta, or BC) do not know people in Toronto. Yet apparently, because it’s in Canada, we all know each other (we’re all so friendly, eh?) so Canadians should tell their friends that there’s something happening in Toronto. We’ll all just take a half day off work and go to Toronto.

From where I live, if we count stopping to eat, sleep, etc, Toronto is a 3 day drive. 4 days from Calgary. 5 (or more) from Vancouver. Just because something is happening in one city, doesn’t mean that it’s affecting all Canadians.

It’s so frustrating when people talk in a way that shows complete ignorance to Canada. If something was happening in one US State  (let’s say Florida), I wouldn’t expect all “Americans” to be interested/get involved. Washington is really far from Florida. Alaska’s even further. It would make more sense to say “hey, Floridians! Check this out!” But we rarely see this mistake made. I mean, everyone just knows where stuff in the US is. (And sometimes more so that our own country. In grade school, I was made to memorise all US states and their capitals a full grade year before I learned Canadian provinces/territories and their capitals. Then again, we were also made to memorise “facts” about the life and teachings of a random carpenter’s son who we were told lived 2000 years ago, so maybe it was just my school).

Also, stop please stop assuming that the USA is the end all/ be all of North America. There are two other countries that sandwich the US. In a discussion on a clothing website that doesn’t ship outside of the US, someone was offering solutions for people that “live overseas” to order from this website. Just because you don’t live in the United States, doesn’t mean you live “overseas”. There’s no water than separates me from the USA.

I’ve also seen websites/blogs list certain shops by region (I’m a fat girl, we like our lists and resources of where we can buy clothes! Our choices are limited!) and when it comes to Canada, they list a couple stores and in a self congratulatory tone say “see! We listed stores for Canadians too! We’re being inclusive. You can shop in Toronto, Montreal or Vancouver!”

Between Montreal and Vancouver, there’s nearly 5000 kms and millions of people. But we live in cities with funny names that most people don’t know exist, so there’s no point in including them, right?

This is not an anti-USA post. I have lots of friends/aquaintances in the States who are wonderful people. This is not just more “har har, Americans are stupid” rhetoric. I really hate that. (Especially since, hi, I live in North America, that makes me an “American” too. I realise that people state-side don’t really have another word for themselves but throughout  all of North and South America, people in the US are the only ones who get to use that word?? Why is that?)

And this isn’t a Western-Canadian-hates-Toronto post either. I love Toronto! There’s a few cities, which shall remain nameless, that are a lot closer to home that I really, really can’t stand (if you know me, you know what cities I’m talking about).

I just really want people to realise that I don’t live in Toronto, but yes, I do still live in Canada. No, I don’t know your friend Jim who lives in Toronto (no, I don’t know your friend Alice who lives in Regina!). We’re not all that friendly. I’d use up all my fingers and toes and move on to all my friends’ fingers and toes trying to count all the assholes I’ve encountered in Canada.

I live in a really wonderful country. It just deserves some props and attention every now and again, okay?

 

Because apparently it’s cute when I write letters to abstract/inanimate objects

(And we all know how much I love The Cute)

 

Dear  Warm Weather:

I don’t know what I or my neighbours did to upset you so. I wish you’d reconsider and come back.

Don’t get me wrong, your sister (er, brother? cousin? great aunt twice removed?) Cold Weather is enjoyable for a while. But you know how they get. They’re all “hay guise, I made teh snow, lol!” and it’s funny and cute at first. Heck, the first few times each year, I really really enjoy Cold Weather’s presence. I knit new scarves and mittens for everyone I’ve ever known and walk around  in fresh snow and genuinely enjoy myself.

But like a drunk who’s had one too many on a Friday night, eventually the Cold Weather morphs into this mean spirited, miserable excuse of a season. “You love snow and cold?!!” The weather yells at us. “Well here you go! -46 Celcius! Happy Thursday fucking morning! Yeah, here, take it – blowing snow, zero visibility! HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE WINTER NOW?”

Warm Weather, you have to come back and step in. Do something. Please.

Now, I know, I know – I live on the Canadian prairies – I have to expect long, cold, bleak winters. And I do. I really wouldn’t trade a wintry landscape for somewhere like Florida, where it seems to be All Summer, All The Time.  But we got out first snow fall in October. The weather channel says this is the most snow we’ve had in over 150 years.

People in this city can’t handle driving in all this snow and ice and slush (hell, people in this city can’t drive on sunny days, on dry pavement), so throw us a bone here. If you could come around once in a while and melt the snow (gradually though! We don’t want a flood on our hands), we would be so happy. I could do crazy things like walk along the sidewalk, instead of down the middle of busy streets because the city’s piled the snow onto the sidewalk. I could leave the apartment for the day without feeling like a pack mule, with an extra hat and mittens in my bag, while wearing my coat and hat that all but do away with my peripheral vision.

Warm Weather, I’m  not asking to wake up one day next week to see all the snow gone, the sun shining and the temperature at +25C. But that -46C garbage that you let Cold Weather pull on us last week was not cool. (Well, literally I guess it was. Downright cold, but you get what I mean!)

I see that we should have some moderate temperatures to look forward to in the coming week. -5C, that kind of thing. I – and many of my fellow city-folk, I’m sure – would appreciate it if you keep things around that mark until Spring. It’s really not that far off – under 2 months until the Vernal Equinox. You can do it, Warm Weather, I know you can.

If you could also have a little talk with Cold Weather to lay off the snow, that would be really wonderful. With your sunny disposition, I’m sure you can be quite convincing.

Yours, ever gratefully,

Deanne

 

Dear Leggings,

Dear Leggings,

It’s me, your ever-fairweather friend. Remember this summer, in Toronto, when I was at the Bay and they had leggings for fatties in something other than black? And I was surrounded by all these wonderful, fashionable people on Yonge street, in leggings and mini skirts, leggings and sweater dresses, leggings and long tops, etc? And I went crazy and bought 3 pairs of leggings, vowing to Only Wear Leggings Forever after that?

Okay, I’m sorry, I just can’t handle you right now!

See, the thing is – and maybe you don’t realise this – I have feet.

Two of them.

Leggings, you’re just not giving me what I need. Especially now that it’s so cold out. I can’t very well not wear socks at this time of year. But with you, what do I do? Socks over top of you just look funny. Underneath, and the line at the top of the sock shows. That looks funny too.

I know that I could wear leggings and flat shoes, barefoot, and not look out of place at all. Everyone does that. But I’m sorry, Leggings, that patch of bare skin on the top of my foot and at my ankle stands out like a sore thumb to me.

So, we’re left with a couple of options, neither of which are really accessible right now.

1) I could just wear heavy tights in bright colours (I’m sorry, I know you probably don’t want to hear that).

In theory this works, but finding heavy tights in bright colours for women who are not only fat but also tall is really really challenging. So I only have a few pair. Plus, tights just aren’t as warm as you. Only you know how to hold and support and keep me warm, Leggings, on those coldest of winter days.

2) I could wear boots with you, Leggings, and then it doesn’t matter that I’ve just got lumberjack socks on.

I support this idea whole heartedly, except that finding nice boots are tricky too. I have my vintage Docs, which I believe you’ve met a couple of times before, Leggings. You remember, they’re black, 10-eyelet? You two really got along.

Then it snowed and got all icy outside and I spent more time on my ass on the sidewalk while wearing my Docs than I did walking around. And those nasty blisters they gave me! So you see, Leggings, you are not the only one I have a tenuous relationship with. Maybe once the snow melts, we can all be reunited.

Very rarely can a person actually say “it’s not you, it’s me” and actually mean it. But Leggings, darling, baby, sweetheart – it’s me. You’ve done nothing wrong. You’re trying, I see that. You’re so versatile and flexible. I just can’t make it work right now.

Please don’t wait for me. If someone else between the sizes of 16 and 20 comes along and has the need for leggings, I’m totally going to stand aside and let you go with them. You deserve to be happy too.

In the meantime, I’m going to continue with Tights and Knee-socks. I’ll continue people-watching and trying new things. If I can find a comfortable way to be with you, I’ll let you know.

Love, Deanne

Dress: Finished

Just a quick one folks. I finished the dress yesterday and I’m in all kinds of love with it.

The little bow to “jazz it up”, as you may remember, was my best idea this year. I need moar clothes with little bows like that now.

Originally, I wasn’t going to wear it with a belt. But I tried it on and felt like I was wearing a potato sack. I have a high waist that I sometimes need to remind you exists! So I threw on one of my belts (which I also made) and really liked the outcome.

I want to make more in different colours and fabrics and textures now. Once I launch my new Etsy store, I may make this available for custom orders. What do people think?

That’s all for now – I just had to post this because I’m in love with this dress even if two women in the elevator at work this morning gave me the stink eye. One of them said to the other, “sorry, I wasn’t watching, I was looking at THAT“, with a nod to me.
Rude! I was standing right there. I returned their stink eye and sashayed off the elevator.